If you want an insight into mother’s character you can do nothing better than look at the BBC Horizon Programme Mystery of the Left Hand see the link below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wzUAbzWHY8

Look particularly at the Geshwin Interview mentioning Mum as “an English Woman” 2min .39s “in” and  the and bit showing Mum at Holmewood House 11min 12s “in”. It is worth noting that she was “only” an Undergraduate at the time she met the Prof. Mother was not at all fazed by dealing with people of influence or authority.

Here is a a potted biography

Mother was the daughter of Albert James (Joe) Holden (the last horse-drawn milk roundsman in Colchester) and Winifred Ada Holden nee Harrow. Jean was born on the blazingly hot Whit Bank holiday Monday of 1928. Her birth was traumatic the child was not really expected to survive. My grandfather vowed never to put his wife through that again so mother was an only child. My Grandmother fearful of funeral costs took out a “Penny Prue” life policy to cover the £35 cost of a funeral. During lock down the Prudential gave up waiting for her and paid out on the policy (It had not kept up with funeral inflation!). At age five on her first day at School she walked with her Mother from home in Goring Rd to School (Hamilton Road I think). On day two she announced to her Mum “I don’t need you” and she walked off to school on her own (what a different world we live in today).

Just before WW2 her parents bought a house in Campion Rd and Mother transferred to Canterbury Rd School (Now St George’s). It was there she won a scholarship to The Girls High School. In her time there she had a severe attack of Rheumatic fever. This and her mother’s insistence she leave school and get a job meant she never took her School Certificate.

She started work at the Justices Clarks office. Sometime in 1944 she met my father I think it was at some church organised youth event. Father was doing RAF aircrew training at the time. During the spring of 1945 my father was on embarkation leave for the war against Japan. His widowed mother had remarried and so our father was essentially homeless. My grandmother had paying guests to help pay the mortgage. Jean asked if Len could be billeted with them, the response was “He can’t stay under the same roof as you everyone will talk.” She thought she would put a stop to the idea by saying “Of course if you were married that would be different” mother replied “We will get married then” I am not sure if she got Dad’s agreement first before settling on the idea of Marriage. Her Mother’s response was “well at least you will get a war widows pension” (I don’t think she ever forgave the Japanese for allowing the Americans to drop that bomb on them!). So in June 1945 Len & Jean were married she was only 17 years old.

From 1945 to 1950 they lived with her parents. In 1950 they bought Rose Cottage in Blackheath Colchester two semi-detached dwellings one with a sitting tenant. There was no mains drainage and only a standpipe in the back yard. When the tenant died in 1954 they knocked through a wall to turn the semis into a detached house. This and mains drainage was finished in time for the arrival of their first Son Clyde in January 1955. Mother of course gave up her job as secretary of West Mersea School.

It was in the 1950s that Len & Jean trained as local Preachers for the Colchester Methodist circuit (Mum qualified in 1956). As a child I well remember being dragged out on Sundays to Crockleford Heath, Balls Green or some other tiny chapel with a few aged people as congregation.

Glyn came along in 1960. 1n 1963/4 our father became a founding partner of a company called “Anglian Office Equipment” this was based in Colchester.  Mother provided administrative support as well as running her home. Unfortunately the business folded when the “Fire Auto & Marine”. Insurance company went into administration. It owed Anglian Office Equipment a substantial sum of money.

It was at this time Mum and Dad had their only serious argument. Dad’s business partner wanted him to re-mortgage Rose Cottage to save the business. Mother said “if you re-mortgage you will be choosing between your business partner or me and the children”. Thankfully Father chose us.

During the 1960s father worked as a traveling salesman and in 1968 Mother became landlady to the one of the first Students at Essex University. He was Richard (Rick) Woods who’s claim to fame was he was an Ape in 2001 a Space Odyssey (see IMDB). It says something for Mum and Dad he became a lifelong friend until his death last year.

It was in about 1967 that Mum had her first MS attack (it was undiagnosed at the time).

Throughout the 1960s & 1970s Mother helped raise funds for the National Children’s Home (NCH Action for Children). If there was a committee that needed a member Mother would step up to the plate. PTA at schools, Parents Committee in the Scouts etc.  The problem was that Mother always thought she knew best and was forceful of getting things to run properly (her Way!).

Due to my dyslexia mother started fighting authority to get something done. She had a son who she had taught to read well above his chronological age who couldn’t write or spell. There was something wrong, how could a child with an IQ of 129 not learn to write?  She short circuited all the bureaucracy and established pathways to get me to the Language Therapy Unit as St Bart’s Hospital. It was here I was treated by Beve Hornsby.

Mums interest in Dyslexia was sparked she applied to go to a conference on the subject she was told by one of the organisers “you are not powerful enough to come to my conference”. Enraged mother enrolled at Grayfiars. To study for O-levels. After getting A-levels, she produced an essay to apply for a State Scholarship to Essex University. I am convinced the reason the committee thought Mother’s submission was that of an incipient academic was that the essay had to get to an office in London by 16:30 on a given day. Mother was typing half the night. The deadline was hit on the dot by the expedient of sending my Dad to London by train to hand deliver the precious package. Deadline hitting (and pushing) is a national sport in academia!

Once at Essex University mother continued to be bit of a pioneer. She pleaded with the authorities that due to her own (mild) dyslexia she should have her lectures taped so she could take notes in her own time. Today every lecture at the University is recorded. Three years ago Mum’s tapes (safely stored in her loft for decades) were accepted back by Essex Uni’ for archiving. During her time at Essex she travelled twice to the United States for conferences where she met Prof Geshwin. After graduation she trained at Bart’s as a language therapist. She used the skills learned at Homewood House.

In 1979 my brother married a Pilipino Nurse Julie originally from Batangas. Mum then became honoury “Mum” and later “Grandma” to Colchester’s Pilipino community.
After retirement she became carer to my father who became increasingly blind. Their Granddaughter Victoria was born in 1984. They bought a holiday caravan on Mersea Island so they could have Victoria for holidays. Mother enjoyed visiting the caravan right up to the last few weeks of her life.

Mother also sponsored a Child called Omar in a orphanage in in Egypt. He will be quite a grown up young man by now. However contact has been lost with him.

Sadly Father died in 2001 soon after Mum had a hip replacement following a fall. Mother lived on as a widow. She became active in the MS society until ill health made her increasingly housebound. In her final years she developed vascular dementia. Thankfully her body finally gave up before we were robbed of her character by this most cruel of diseases. Mother’s final admission to hospital was due to a massive hernia deemed inoperable 14 years ago, because general anaesthesia could have been fatal. The doctor was proved wrong in 2019 as she had to be put under for a second emergency hip replacement.

Following this mother lived at home with a live in carer. She had a great fear of ending up in a care home. The family are so grateful to Gen the carer who gave mum what she had wanted all her life “A Maid of All Work” ;-)  Mum was cared for with great love and devotion.

On 25th May Mother was in agony due to the hernia being blocked. She begged Gen to call an ambulance. She must have been ill she always fought against going into Hospital. The Ambulance took 14 hours to arrive.

On the Thursday morning the Consultants agreed with the family that mother should receive palliative care only. Mum had said many times she was too old and was vexed when younger fitter friends like Richard Woods had died and she, with 40 chronic medical conditions was still alive. She expressed the wish to die on a number of occasions in her final years.

On the Friday night Mum pulled out all her drips and tubes. She did not want active treatment. I don’t believe in Astrology for one moment but she was a typical Gemni (in two minds about everything) Her Mind wanted to go but her body would not give in. The last giggle she had was one morning when she woke and asked “Where is this?” I explained why she was in hospital then said “we knew you were ill you forgot your handbag!” Father had said many times “Jean if I had a pound for every time you asked about your hand bag I would be a millionaire by now” Dad’s other great quote about his life with Mum was “I should have known what I was letting myself in for she missed our first date because she was ill!”

The family gathered for her 94th Birthday, she knew we were all there in her hospital room. The heart wrenching thing was the only present she wanted was a last cuddle from her Great Grandaughter Sofia Nyx. Alas this could not be due to MRSA and hospital rules. Mother’s body continued cling on to life for a further week.

Glyn June 2022